Out with the Old

Part 2

After surgery they had removed all of my teeth and sent us home.for the first week i don't remember eating much I had stitches all the way across from left to right both upper and lower jaws.yup all gums. talk about different I just went from 28yrs mouth to grandpa mouth screaming "where"s my false teeth!!!" in a matter of a few hours...yea it was great and no it didn't hurt.they gave me drugs that I only took for 2 days then didn't need em.

My sister and I return to Baylor for a check up to get the extra stitches that did not dissolve out and to see when we could schedule are next appointments everything was great things are now moving along.

The next few months I ate soup all kinds of soup,soup and bread.then upgraded to Saimin then it was noodle for months all along the way trying different solid foods.Then it was time to go back to Baylor,it had only been a month maybe before we went back in,it was not good in fact the news was shocking.the Doctors began to tells us that everything just came to a stopping point and that we would have to wait until June/July before we can continue.I remember they said we should go down to the office and talk to a guy who was in charge of Baylor's Financial department. I do not remember this guys name but his face I've not forgotten. 

when we enter his office everything was really dark all the blinds were shut the lights were not all on and the atmosphere was heavy.My sister began to talk with this guy and ask question about when and what can be done about my case.I remembered him saying look I don't know,i just don't know how or when we will be able to get to your brothers case.Obama cut off Baylor's Budget money. We have no money coming in,there not enough money left now and even if some kind of funding came in here's the other problem your brother has 6 people in front of him so there's nothing we can do.sorry! now if you please I am very busy.So he kicked us out of his office.
The whole time i was in there I heard what he said but was still smiling maybe because i thought this sounded so funny to me.Marilynn says "sorry brother","why are you smiling?"they just said it was hopeless and impossible"....

Sometime between walking in to the heaviness of that office,hearing bad news and listening to what my sister just said.I had made a decision and stated that Nothing is Impossible for God and that He could make way...I don't know how to explain it but I just believed with my whole heart that what we see is impossible, for God nothing is Impossible and that with Him ALL things are Possible...

all my trust,faith,hope and just pure belief that He could make away kicked in.

From the time all this started up to that point I had went from being saved and not caring to listening to the preacher preach and teach the word of God.it start becoming more interesting to me. we left the medical office.not sure how my sister felt in all this but I was just gonna stand on what I believe could happen.

Many months went by and the belief never faded in fact it got stronger and stronger.unlike before when hope would come and go come and go.this was very different.this hope never left it stayed and got stronger as my gums got more stronger, we went back in June to see if anything changed but nothing had happened. more months rolled by more growing spiritually and focusing less on the fact I had no teeth.

(The hardest part of having no teeth is not eating.its not smiling or laughing the hardest part for me was talking! i thought i sounded ridiculous to pronounce S or C was difficult because I thought I sounded like some gay guy when they try to talk like women..u know what I'm talking about u have friend who make fun of this way of talking..anyways EVERYTHING has a S or a C in it..I was working at Home Depot at the time so I had to talk to people.)

before we knew it was already November of 2009.  I was traveling to church one weds night,it was raining and i stopped at a stop light.the whole time i was here I had no friends and so sitting there I simply ask God OK so if I'm to stay here then could i have at least 1 or 2 good godly friends kinda like the person singing on this CD. 
 up to that point everyone i knew was my sister or brother in law's friends.well I did happen to make 40 friends in 2 weekends at Pathways but we all live so far apart.i need the kind of friends i could hang with daily or weekly.

(I love and thank God for all my friend in class 263)(these people help me through the hardest of hard times and made me feel like i was worth something.they had loved me and didn't care what i had walked threw to get to that point.they like me for me! and I love them for who they are)

so it was end of March beginning of April 2010,i believe that God had taken are tiny family and transported them to a new church home. Although I came by myself at first,its true The Lord will take the lonely and broken hearted and set them in large families. 

God sets the solitary in families;He brings out those who are bound into prosperity;But the rebellious dwell in dry land.Psalm 68:6 NKJV

A new church home with more to learn more to get involved with and just more more more is better.

at the very beginning of hearing about the $26K job my sister Marilynn had started a non-profit called mobettahsmile.org it was designed to help me raise the funds we needed for this project.because even with the now extremely low price my uncle still didn't want to help.many friend from Pathways and other people had donated money to this project we had $3,500. in savings,we had business cards that we would hand out...OK just because my sister is probably going to read this and for the record I did not pass to many of them out she and my aunt gave them away.i gave maybe 1 or 2.

anyhow i started to pass some out to people i met at church not that i thought anyone would care or anything but just so that when my sister asked "did you give them a card?" i would have to lie and say yes!

little did i know it The Lord had put me in this new church for much greater purpose and a new direction i was to walk. started to get involved with a ministry Called Seven it was from 18-29 i had just turned 30 but the pastor said he wasn't gonna start carding people at the door.the way Seven is designed and Gateway church my life began to change more rapidly,getting involved with activities,meet one guy named Micah Davis which opened up a can of worms and lead me to having over 70 friends.(prayer answered thought i only wanted 1 or 2 God Blessed me with above and beyond.that number still grows, I had heard of an organization called RU4children.org (check them out) almost every thing about gateway was new for me.though I had been raised in church and ran away only to come back like the prodigal,this seemed to be amazing that there was  global ministries. 
Things i would of never thought or dreamed of had i stayed in small town church 
(I'm not knocking the small town church still love all y'all at CIWC) 
RU4children opened my eyes to things I've never seen before both in and around the world as well as looking threw and reading the bible for myself to see what Jesus said about things.My heart turn towards this direction, orphans thousand upon thousands of them got to bed hungry every night.so i got involved with what i could do.went to a concert Kari Jobe did at a Methodist church and there i noticed that it was a lot bigger then just this one org. but there where many orgs trying to save the orphans of this world.My heart stirred and began stirring.There came a point where i was so convinced that I did not need teeth. didn't need them to smile or to be happy,didn't need them to make friends or talk to people and I definitely didn't need them to eat...my hearts desire was if only I had access to the money in our non profit I would give it to RU4 because those kids need it a whole lot more then I do.(i still feel that way) but my sister was smart and she is the only one who has access to the funds. I began to share my heart with her more and more in this area as I began to fall in love with Jesus more and more and wanted nothing but to help His kids around the world.

during the starting time at gateway my sister had been passing out cards and this one card landed in the hands of her own dentist. he had looked at the website and called  Marilynn to see at what stage we were on with the teeth,said told him that nothing is moving right now that right after they pulled my teeth it stopped. 

He told her that he would take a look into it,he worked with or on the board at Baylor.for a while He and my sister had been discussing thing of which i knew nothing about. then days before a turning point in this journey Marilynn told me of this doctor who heard of my case and began to fight for us.He is fighting because when he looked into it Baylor had thrown our case out saying that we missed an appointment.but he questioned that and said why would someone like me miss an appointment for something so important as this? so he fights for us. 

(we never did have an appointment the last thing the said was keep calling but don't get your hopes up) 

This was amazing news because we had know idea what was going on with it,though I still believed God would and could i just never focused on it and waited for Him to bring the how...

days later Marilynn gets a call from that same doctor,He told her that there's not a lot of hope,though he was going to continue to fight for our case,..she hangs up the phone and the very moment she hung up,like instantly my phone rang...Hello i said,the man on the other side said Hello is this Samuel Kauhane? Yes i said its Kainoa I go by my middle name Kainoa but Samuel is fine.He said very well then Sam.my name is Dr Schow from Baylor medical,I would like to meet with you this Tuesday at 11 am if that is OK with you? can you make it? Yes! Yes absolutely i said.Alright Great I will see you soon. yes! yes thank you thank you Sir,we then hung up.

Thank You Thank You Jesus!!! about an hour later my sister said who was that on the phone? I said it was a Dr. from Baylor setting up an appointment for Tues.My sister stopped what she was doing and said What? so i began to repeat.(I had known a little of what my sister and her dentist were talking about so I thought he hooked it up and this was all going as planed.) Marilynn said come here for a minute so a came and she started to tell me about the phone call she had with the dentist.he said there wasn't much he could do and not a lot of hope left. then I said what the Dr.Schow at Baylor had told me... 
(it was about the end of summer when this happened) 

we both stood on awe as we realized that this was a divine appointment.that this was a God thing! hands down this is now His plan and we are thankful.

When we had tried all that we could,there was so many hands in our plan that even though i believed He would make away.any one of those hands could of said it wasn't because of God you have teeth but because of me. or me. or this or that person.Though i would have still said its all because of God. Our plans FAILED epically!

He started to reveal His plan.

back when i was in a small church all i could say every time i prayed was thank You.prayers and gratefulness and thanksgiving.I had asked a bishop about this and he said its OK you are still baby i have been doing this for 30+ yrs your prayers will get better.then The Lord moved me to gateway were i learned that having a heart of gratefulness is not a bad thing in fact it is encouraged. 

 Psalm 100:4 Enter His gates with thanksgiving,and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him,and bless His name.
(NKJV)
 still to this day in worship or where ever its always a thank You thank You thank You. at that point it was just the new start I was so thankful its all i knew to say.

Out with our old plan in with His new. Like i said our impossible is His possible and all I did was believe He could....

to be continued 

 www.mobettahsmile.org/

 www.ru4children.org/

More like Jesus Less like Peter

 Last night we went to Jesus Culture at the Nokia theater. 2hours of worship then the pastor got up and spoke.
He started with Hannah and about how Hannah Had ask,and prayed to the LORD God for a baby. and that baby she gave birth to was Samuel I very Important Prophet the one who called David out. The name Samuel means heard God.
He was God's mouth piece and a messenger for Him.he called out things in people and helped move them in the right direction or into what God was calling them to be.

As he was talking about birthing something last night I remember a conference my sister took me to where her friend Bishop Tudor Bismark  was speaking at one point I remember a guy yelling out Israel is going threw the birth canal,now this place and that place this person and that person ,then he invited all who wanted to come to walk threw the birth canal. (your probably thinking What the Flip? Birth canal? yea I was tripping out to.I thought these people were nuts)(the whole thing is kind of a blur but i remember bits n pieces and can see it visually but i cant explain it well)
My sis and aunt was like we're going u don't have to if u don't want to but I did because I didn't wan them to think I was into God or whatever.
Before all that crazy birth canal talk. when Bishop spoke I remember he ask everybody to turn around 360 spin this represented turning from the old into the new.everyone did I thought it was stupid and didn't.
Later that night m sister said come I want u to meet someone. She took me to see Bishop. I don't remember all that he said to me but he turned me around in a 360 turn several of times. From the moment he saw me the Lord spoke something to him that he passed to me.
The next time I saw bishop he spoke prophetically to me again this time he said "your going to have to make a choice! You will know when this comes and what choice it will be"

The Lord has been stirring  my heart I think of the September moment and from weds night at MOR Youth and then again the next night at the Jesus Culture meeting. It's clear to me I know which direction I'm going."the choice is clear" to me.
I see it NO other way. No matter the cost I'm going to seek Jesus. Every opportunity to go mission tripping I'm in. Even if it cost me my Job. I just know He will provide for me. First thing of the year I said in my heart and with my lips I will say Yes to everything He says no matter how crazy it sounds or seems.
"it is better to be obedient in the eyes of my God then to be crazy in the eyes of the world.

Even if this leaves me homeless in a few months. To seek Jesus with my whole heart is worth it.

The bible says this place is not my home.
King David and James said are lives are but vapors here one minute gone the next. Jesus said we do not k ow the hour for which he will return.
The world tells me to work now,save now and when u retire then go on mission trips.
I say what if I die tomorrow and go to see the LORD God almighty what will he say? Will He says well done good and faithful servant?
Or will He says why did u not help more? Why is there still do much poor,hungry,homeless,broken hearted people in the world?

I know I can't save anyone but Jesus can.
I can't do anything by my own strength but with His power I can do anything and everything He commands.

The choice is Clear I know the direction I will head.

I'm going to throw my life away for His cause!

The time is now,my heart says yes I will go.

Maybe as humans we need to feel like we have control or are in it,of the things that affects us,we strive for it but the more I look I see that I'm not in Control of anything and this freaks me out at time.
To Trust the Lord with all your heart is challenging in some areas.Like I know and seen Him provided multiple times,but as these missions trip are coming up fast and my dues are not in.I begin to think OK how can I make this money,Thoughts come of well Maybe i can help God with the expense of these trips.maybe I can pay for em.but to realize that God doesn't need me to help Him only trust and Believe in Him. dismiss the doubt and worry,

Trust! Trust! Trust!

Believe! Believe! Believe!

So then it hits me at the end of the day,that shows me how much like Peter I am...So willing to step out of the boat and go to Jesus.

28 And Peter answered Him and said, Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.
29 So He said, Come. And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus.
30 But when he saw that the wind  was  boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, Lord, save me!
31And immediately Jesus stretched out  His  hand and caught him, and said to him, O you of little faith, why did you doubt? Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, Truly You are the Son of God. (Matthew 14:28-31, 33 NKJV)

My wants

First off and foremost ALL praise and glory to God,Jesus Christ my LORD and Savior and The Holy Spirit who helps and guides us every day!


This Story is not just about me...Its about you to,you the reader.Its really all about my Daddy and what he can do....
 Ask your self what do you need breakthrough for or would like to see happen? how bout what is your Impossible that there's no way you could do.don't dwell on the impossible,Dwell on He who can make it possible.


This part of my life begins long before I came to Texas. It actually when i was a young boy growing up in California,then many years after we had moved back to my father home state on the Big Island it came up again as another opportunity.at that time I remember all the doctors said that on the island it would be tough to do but had they sent me to the mainland it would be no problem...nothing ever got done except just some window shopping...and so December 10,2008 I took a chance and came to Texas...with the help of my sister Marilynn and her husband Shayne who housed me for ages and said that i must attend church preferably their church and my Uncle Peter who put up the funds for a one way ticket here and Pathways


The main goal of coming here was to go threw a program called Pathways.Its a secular inner healing program but I believe God is all involved in it! Hey its where he took my drinking away with a snap of the fingers.and it was the beginning of cleaning up the life I completely messed up.(but that's a whole different part of this ever going story). I had just gotten back into church first resisting it as much as possible really i just wanted to spend my 4 months here get what i can and go home.but that's not what happen at all within the first couple of months i became Saved and started to turn from my evil ways to Jesus.


Within a few short months and after the major session of Pathways my Uncle began talking with my sister about still wanting to help me fix up my teeth with implants or more along the lines of dentures. So they brought this news to my attention and it began yet again.its the very same thing we were trying to do in Cali and Hawaii...fix me up on that note I was born with bad teeth and jaw alignment.and because of the decisions I made  during my stay on the Island It went from bad to worse towards the end of my stay I was having more killer teeth aches and headaches to go with it.I'd medicate my self with the pain killers and vodka or and other hard's i could get on top of my normal case of beer a day..
 My sister and I went to an oral Sergeant just a few blocks from her house out in Mansfield.during his visit he made a lot of assumptions and brought to mind a lot of ideas to the table but ultimately told us that he did see us drive up in a caddy so that plan would not be for us.but I insisted to see.(more insulted then anything.i mean really how did he know if i had that kind of money or not.and Honestly if i were rich like that.I'd drive the same car and wear the same clothes so nobody would know) anyways his plan came out to $250k just for the jaw surgery that i believe included the implants but not sure about  the teeth that sit on the implants. His next plan wan in the area of $150k and this included  dentures...two plans both got shot down.as Marilynn knew they would i was just hopeful cause ya never know.
after we visited a few more places with a few more plan and more bids the price either stayed the same or dropped a little in price like down to $90k.
all the while my aunt Betty and her family began to get involved to.we all went to the same small church so it wasn't hard not to be involved i guess.
 Aunt Betty (AB for short) and Marylynn began to call Baylor medical after they found out that Baylor accepts phone call for new patients or new cases that Baylor would look at and determine which they could use to teach there students...yes that's right they pick peoples cases and the students do the work...with supervision of course.or they have the pros do it and the students watch.So there this window ever weds or every other weds between 10am-10:30am in which they answer call at a certain number.its all chance and luck..AB and Marilynn tried for awhile before they asked me to do it.I think the whole is a joke because every time we tried we got the busy signal through out thee entire 30mins.


Then a little while later breakthrough came in a different form..I said my aunts family which in my adopted Texan family was involved right. Well AB's brother in law and one of the coolest Texan farmer Ive met so far Named Papa George are also  roofers him and his son Timothy.So one day they get this job to do a roof for a dentist and when the job is complete the dentist tries to pay them but papa says no no please instead of paying us could u maybe help my nephew can you take a look at his teeth? the dentist agrees and Papa hurries to tell me the good news.3weeks later i get a call from this dentist and so my sister, papa G,AB and myself go to this dentist where he greets me and says OK lets take a look. open wide! WHOA! wait wait wait I am a regular dentist I can not do the kind of work you need here.we just simply do not have the proper equipment and it not exactly my line of work..I'm sorry my sister and i thank him for taking a look.He begins to think of ways he could help seeing that Papa G did indeed help him greatly.He then says there's a chance the guy upstairs might be able to help you guys.I'm not totally sure what all he does but he is an oral Sergent,Lets build u a profile and I will go meet with him and see what I can do...so we took many impressions and tons of X-rays and photos. Then he sent us on our way and said lets hope for the best.and so we did i guess.maybe a little  more at first but then weeks started to go by and my hope was fading fast.

breakthrough yet again we get a call from a doctor named Thad he said to meet him at his office in a few days.so we became excited again and hopeful,we go to meet with him and it was the same old open wide. hmm humph mmmhmph ah ooh OK well Samuel here's the deal it seems with the amount of bad and rotting teeth you have you may be having some serious infections up there.but that's not the reason I'm about to tell you this..I will not do this work...Its not that I can't because i can it would be know problem.will have to get rid of the infection,pull the really bad teeth,move your jaw back so the bottom lines up with the top,then see which plan you want.implants which will be the most expensive your looking at like $1,500-$2500 a piece then there's the cost of the teeth which is super expensive to.or we can do a partial or a denture...but like i said I'm not going to take your case.
My sister and I were shocked,i was more like then why did you explain all this crap to me if you knew your going to say no I said quietly in my head.. Marilynn asked well hen what can we do.Dr. Thad said the reason I'm not going to do it is because I feel that your brother would be a perfect case for Baylor to handle.it could help teach the students and also could help you get a lower cost.Listen I work on the board at Baylor let me build a better profile for your brother and I'll go up there and present his case!


you thought we were shocked before,yeah this tops that.we were happy so happy,we felt that after a while of working and trying that God had opened up a door for us in the one place we saw it impossible to get in to. Dr.Thad said give me about 3 weeks and I'll get back to you..we said our thank yous and headed home to give the good report to the family and specially papa George.hope had come back. funny thing about my hope it would come and go like the passing wind.didn't have a lot of faith or trust in to much..really I was still all about me! just having finished Pathways all i wanted to do is get these teeth and go home asap.i had already been here for 4months,I was very selfish i didn't really care about anything else,or anyone else..not what you would expect from someone who just a few months ago "gave his life to Christ" there was still a major war going on i wasn't fully all for Him yet...


about 5 weeks from when we last saw Thad and no hope left he calls and says be on the look out for a Doctor named Maribelle she will be calling you about an appointment at Baylor.with great news you are in now I've done what i could do they've accepted your case i believe and want to see you.its all i can do good luck!


Yippee! i shouted we are in!told Marilynn the good news and days late Dr Maribelle calls to set up an appointment, so we go in.mind you I'm not from Texas and so I'm not all on board with the whole Texan slang with the yes Sir and yes Ma'am.anyways the meet went fairly well she took a look and started plan with my sister then she stepped out for a moment and that's when Marilynn looks at me and says "hey try to smile more and be a little more happy and Texans like to be called Ma'am or Sir.so it might be nice to say Yes Ma'am.
Dr.Maribelle comes back in and so i smile more we talk more and she says well can you come back in next week? Yes!!! we both answer,She wanted to wait and talk to a few other doctors and she what they could do for me.she was building her team.
the following week we go back in and this time i was more happier then last time,smiled more and even threw in a few yes ma'am and yes sir's.we began to talk and here's the plan.Dr Maribelle was an oral Sergent and that's what she taught she was willing to wavier all fees towards the jaw surgery,then another doctor came in and said i will be removing your teeth and fixing the hole in your mouth.(this hole is on my upper jaw line and goes into my nostril) then 3 more doctors came in and one said I'll be handling the plastic surgery you may need after getting your jaw aligned there may be some minor work will do to your nose and we can take off the excess skin tissue from your lower lip and make it look normal.
(this part was huge for me being that it was the primary reason I went threw server rejection going up as a kid all threw elementary,Jr high and both high schools all the way up until i was 28yrs,made fun of my whole life..so yes i want that gone.and ultimately its the reason why I walked out on God and got into what i got in to.but that is an entirely different part of my life story)
the other two doctors 1 was going to remove all my teeth and the other was going to install the implants.the Dr George Gonzales and his assistant came in and they said we will be making your teeth.
7 doctors all standing around me throwing there ideas out and talking deep doctor languages while at the same time forming there plan..I thought wow is this really happening? it is it is.thank you God.
a little later a woman walked in and pulled up a seat she was the budget director for Baylor's budget she decided how much money and where it went to so she wanted to hear their plan.
Dr.Maribelle started with first he needs to get all his teeth removed and when he is healed up from that I will go in and do the necessary jaw surgery cutting his jaw and moving it back 1/2inch and wavering all cost,and all my fees that i would normally get paid for.the next doctor said i will do the outer plastic surgery and am wavering all cost,the next said I'll close the gap in him gums free,one said I can wavier all the anesthetics needed for Dr.Maribelle's surgery and for some of the other small projects,Dr.Gonzales walks in and says I will be making the teeth and will get the implants for doctor so and so to put in.the implants we can go $800 a piece and for he teeth it will be done for $18k both top and bottom...the budget woman said and time? it will take 6 months -1yrs maybe 2 it all depends on how he heals so the total cost will be $26,000 dollars. and she said this all sounds good when would you like to start? asap they said.first the patient has infection and need his teeth removed.,She said well it looks like we need to start making appointments at Baylor medical for a space to work at.(which by the way was wavier to.)and we will begin this project in a few months.
one doctor came up and said we want to schedule u in 2 days to get all your to have all your teeth removed.either you can do it now or you can wait till their all ready to go but by waiting that will put everything back further.so it be best to do it now while they are preparing every thing.
So i agreed and came back in 2 days.these doctors knew teeth were infected but they didn't really know how bad it was.it was serious and after they said "we don't know how your still living,the extent of your infect was deadly at any time it could of traveled up to your brain and killed you or down to your heart and killed you." "you are very lucky" then i told them how long its been like that and they said how many years? you are definitely luckily! I Knew why it was being contained in that area for so long.and how.God had been holding it in that area until this moment when it could be fully taken care of.(that's not to say that during the time before Baylor i didn't suffer or fell pain..oh no i did it was very real.and thought I was gonna die a few times. God is mighty and He held it back.yea He cares) they put me asleep and begun there work pulling out what teeth i had left i think it was a total of 15-18 after they were threw they work me up drugged me up and sent us on our way.they said come back in 1 week....this was in early spring time of 2009.

to be continued...




                                                                    

not your normal Easter post

Did i ever mention that walking this walk is probably the hardest thing that can be done...take that back whats even harder is to walk the walk without Him by your side..how can that even be done you ask..it can't if He is not there then your just walking.

I find myself to get attacked more frequently these days.then i remember as i woke up this morning when going to a retreat 2 weekends ago with Seven,pastor Stephen said the deeper we go with Him the bigger target gets placed on us.There is a cost to be counted...have you counted it recently?

Thank God for He is merciful and His mercies are new everyday!

not really gonna get into it.but recently I backslide a bit only to come to the conclusion that I need Him more then anything in or on this world.
I can not do this by my own strength for I AM JUST A WEAK MAN!

Our society tells us that we can make it.we are not weak but we are strong.we can do it,You can it. we can do anything,we are winners and we do need anyone to help us we can do it on our own.

yea if you tend to insist on going the direction the world is going..I don't want that.i mean i used to...ALOT!
now it the opposite and everything is flipped upside down. i usually don't think the way everyone else is thinking.i guess He really did make a change in me.
our culture says we need to work 8hrs a day 40hrs a week to be able to the the income we need to buy the thing that will make us happy now.that we need to save for the future that we need to horde all we can for ourselves.and that by doing it this way we can have a nice retirement.go the places we wanna go,live the way we wanna live for our few short year we have left on the earth....WHAT???? really I cant live like that.James 4:14 says our lives are but a vapor here one minute and gone the next..(I try to refrain from sounding overly saved or even religious.no I don't go around thumping people on the head with my bible)(although I was been bible thumped..was like 3 weeks ago at an event on friday.my friend comes up and fully hits me with his bible.What the flip man why would you do that? i asked..till this day he has rightfully earned the tittle bible thump-er and its what I call him...)
so any how back to the whole living life in greed for ourselves..yea i jus cant do it.when i work and get paid I think.what good is money if i cant use it to bless people with it.family,friends,strangers..yes complete strangers.like homeless people.its so much fun and brings lots of joy to be able to help some who can not pay u back..not that i would ever want them to..

a question pops in my mind ,many say if God loves us then why is there so much poor,needy and hurting people in the world?
the real question is when you see Jesus and He say Why are there still so many poor,needy and hurting people in the world? what will your answer be?
I really kind of believe that before Jesus left He commanded us to love on these people as He has.

in conclusion I am so thankful that because He loves us so much that even in our sins He died for us,He was buried and He has Risen.He has Risen Indeed!
that we are able to put our sins under His blood and be let Him wash us clean.thankful for His mercies our new everyday.and thankful to be reminded that we only have a few short moments on this earth..lets make them count.
check this link out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86dsfBbZfWs&feature=share

God bless

coming Soon!

I've started a three part story,I never thought it would take so much to write it out.

 Its a story about God and His love,His Faithfulness and His ability to change hearts and bring restoration to even the most broken,lost and messy people.What took years for me to destroy my life and carry such hate for everything. He made new and restored back to life,when once I never gave a damn about anyone but myself and a few close friends to Mass amounts of Love exploding from my heart on to what ever it can get on....

(oh snap you really religious people just got hung up because he said Damn.sorry but I'm sure you hear far worse come out of your T.V. screen then me typing it.lol get over it.there maybe be same things you may not like or some thing that could offend you.)

All it took was belief that He could do anything and all my trust and hope in Him...and to wait on His timing.

I still believe that I in no way deserve this gift He has blessed me with.

Love to share it face to face with people, I guess so that they can hear just how Great He is. This will be the  first time I've ever wrote it out.There's was never a need to have it on paper when you know the story by heart. but here it comes to you shortly.

3/30

so all week i've been recovering from surgery I had on Monday.it was a long awaited thing that was happening.because I just knew He could do anything and He did it.I am very grateful not for the things He does as if He were some kind of magic genie,because He's not and it doesnt work that way.Im grateful that He saved this wretched life and restored,redeemed and healed it.everything else is a bonus..

So this morning i wake up to a few flaws in my truck but not gonna stress it its just a minor leak.fill up the radiator screw the cap back on and head to an outreach in Fort Worth.we are washing the feet of Vietnam Vets. as Jesus wshed the feet of His disciples we want to be like Jesus so we set out to Serve the soldiers that once served this country..

for most veterans who served during Vietnam as if the war was hard enough the real challenge each one had was coming home.the troops sent out were not welcomed when they came home.infact many were spit on and disgraced because they chose one day to join the military and serve for this country...though we can never change the past and everything that was done to them was wrong.we can still honor those men today.for me it is an honor to be able to give back to them with what I can for the road they chose to walk out and risk there lives for this country.no matter if our government was right or wrong.its the soldiers who do the real work .

as we washed the feet of the Vets one was named Willy,he actually was a preacher before he joined the U.S. Army, another's name in bobby and there's another i met who goes by Andy Anderson. these men were all about in there 60-70's all full of life and smiling from ear to ear.all of them could have a number of things going wrong that day but they all choose to find the good and not complain about there situations,but instead smile and laugh and share there stories with everyone.as we get to listen and pray over them.it was an amazing time.

very thankful to have the opportunity to serve the ones who served us first.

tearz

Its been ages since i've actually cried because something hurt.

They said weds would be the worst days and that Healing would start after it...one minute your fine you think your getting better.you feel better then all of a sudden you feel sick,sick to your stomach,your head begins to pound.your 2 hours in when you realize the last painkiller you just took stopped working..you remember work that they did.the grinding and cutting and drilling and it doesn't help in fact why did u remember those things.Of all the things i wish would pass quickly this would of been #1...
it didn't time seem to of stood still as Big ole crocodile tears fell out of the tear ducts of my eyes as I've experienced the worse pain of my life.  Never had I remembered being anything so painful. Both upper And lower jaw hurt plus a headache so huge that the slightest little move would send cold  chills down my spine and back up with excruciating pain. It was two hours before i could take another painkiller as I laid curled up into a ball on my bed feeling like I was taking on a fever as well. Close my eyes for ten minutes feels like an hour or two has gone by.
Then get woken up nope its only been 10 mins.try to go back to sleep,burning red hot the room temp felt like it went up.getting hotter each minute.start calling out for the Lord only to pass out... sweet i'm a sleep it doesn't hurt so much when your sleeping... and we are awake could it be time? as i stare at the painkillers wondering if i should take one or thinking what if i overdose? oh well lets just take one and try to get in that one spot where it was good.
Then big ole crocodile tears come again as every slightest move hurt,head pounding while in the back of your mind something says "ah u didn't count the cost to this"" and now ur suffering" thanx a lot way to kick a man while his down. Begin to cry out for Jesus again and end up passing out...finally 4hours later it hurts but not like earlier.i can deffinatly say that I never want to go threw something like this ever again. We can just mark this as one of the worst expirences of my life!
The pain of the headache is still with me today,but not as strong as it was last night.I pray i get better sooner.don"t have a choice i have to walk this out. :-(

there were so many people that popped in my mind as if it weren't so late i would of stretched out for a text for a prayer