Its the hard days that allow us to cling to Jesus more then every other day.....
I tell me self this over and over throughout this past year,every time this was said either a hard day just passed or it was just around the corner.at first it was a struggle to keep in mind to cling to Him,to smile and press on.as the hard days kept coming the more i tried to keep this in mind but many times i failed.
Then one morning while driving into work He says i love you!I'll never leave nor forsake you! I am there with you,He tells me all these wonderful and comforting things...moments later i say I know Lord I know You are here with me.at that time everything was going great then it dawned on me to ask why or if something was about to get hard.Yes i hear. its going to be hard but do not fear for I am with with...later that day i was in life group when my friend Ash and I got into this conversation of how God years before had told them that Things are going to be hard.harder then they could imagine but not to fear for He is with them...
after hearing His story i remembered what Jesus had talked with me about in the morning and thought wow Our God cares so much about us that He will or would let us know when something comes up.....
a month or 2 had passed and then the hard He spoke of began.it was painful and hurt.day in and day out non stop abuse.verbal all work day long while having things thrown at you and your friends pulling the judas move.everyone taking what was a blessing from Him twisting it into something wrong and so much more.It test my reactions,feelings,and faith in Him,faith in believing and share Jesus with them.cried almost ever night because in my mind it was happening for the 3rd time...yes I had been there before but this time was different there was no giving up or giving in.I cant say that it was a breeze and I floated on threw.no it was difficult and it sucked!
All for good reason though I'm sure...
Today was the first hard day of the year.It was different this time though.crazy things happened right before i left for work.then not to mention was 30mins late.it was freezing and the boss is like sorry Kai but u gotta be outside today.go clean up the lot again. so I go to start the bobcat but it doesn't start.try for 20mins then finally it starts so leave it to sit while it warms up.10mins later i walk pass it and notice its spewing oil.out the back and on to the new concrete...lol Wonderful my boss is gonna kill me,so i move it to somewhere it can leak and go look for stuff to clean it up.instead of hiding it and be like i don't know how that oil got there..yea I told him so we got another cat out there.this happens to be are lucky day this one is not leaking oil but squirting hydrollic fluid every where....Sigh....really.other things went wrong but still all i could do is pray for other people and people around the world and in Uganda.lunch time rolled around I decided to call my sister and oh yea wish her a happy birthday i totally forgot it was yesterday...we talked for a bit,then I said you know I'm having kind of a bad day,but no matter what happens next I cant help but to Praise God.
with the first hard day under my belt I only hope to have the same if not better attitude for when an even harder day comes along...We shouldn't only be able to praise Him for the good days when everything falls in to place and is running smoothly.but we should be able to say you know I'm having a bad day or things aren't working out right but I choose to praise Him anyhow.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Dec.10 2011
Eating in Guatemala it's a risk I took , if I die from it then I guess
my mission here on this earth is. Complete. But if I just get sick then
well it's ok. But I believe Jesus would protect me.besides He is the One
who got me on this trip.
Thank You Lord for everything!!!
Well from that day we did are home visits I guess I had decided that if I was to get sick from it then that's a chance imma have to take. Ive already gotten sick from the extensive smells of pine needles in small places. Really if the bacteria from a little kids hand shake or hug and I forgot to use hand sanitizer and get sick,well it was worth it because they felt loved. Today was awesome. God is showing more then just serving Him by working manually, but to reach out o th kids and bring a smile or laughter to them. The food came from a party when got invited to while in the area.our leader Colleen works with the people in the area and the local pastor.well his son and the sons friend just so happen to graduate that day and so the Pastor threw a party for his son and the whole village was invited.so after the home visit we went to church(that's where the party was) and we had church,its always a great experience for me to be able to worshiping God in a different county and language.even if you dont know the language or speak it.to me it paints a beautiful picture of what heaven will be like.
So after church we tried to leave asap when we got to the front door they redirected us around the side and up into an upper room where the graduates Grandparents were there who also are pastors then some other close family came up and of course the boys father and mother.we all sat and they served us something wrapped in banana leaves to be honest being from Hawaii the outside looked like a Lau Lau.but the inside was like mush with 2 chunks of chicken and 2 tortillas,Collen said it was tamales, anyhow I thought to myself this is great! we get to eat real Guatemalan food! others in the group were like NO Kainoa dont eat that! you don't have to eat it.u wont disrespect them by not eating it....well u know what happen right as they were saying that I felt that if i was gonna get sick and die from it then well it was gonna happen,no I ate it and thought nothing.It will be fine the food is blessed.beside if God really did spare me all those years to die from eating some local food.well then at least its been good being back in His house for these short years.
Thank You Lord for everything!!!
Well from that day we did are home visits I guess I had decided that if I was to get sick from it then that's a chance imma have to take. Ive already gotten sick from the extensive smells of pine needles in small places. Really if the bacteria from a little kids hand shake or hug and I forgot to use hand sanitizer and get sick,well it was worth it because they felt loved. Today was awesome. God is showing more then just serving Him by working manually, but to reach out o th kids and bring a smile or laughter to them. The food came from a party when got invited to while in the area.our leader Colleen works with the people in the area and the local pastor.well his son and the sons friend just so happen to graduate that day and so the Pastor threw a party for his son and the whole village was invited.so after the home visit we went to church(that's where the party was) and we had church,its always a great experience for me to be able to worshiping God in a different county and language.even if you dont know the language or speak it.to me it paints a beautiful picture of what heaven will be like.
So after church we tried to leave asap when we got to the front door they redirected us around the side and up into an upper room where the graduates Grandparents were there who also are pastors then some other close family came up and of course the boys father and mother.we all sat and they served us something wrapped in banana leaves to be honest being from Hawaii the outside looked like a Lau Lau.but the inside was like mush with 2 chunks of chicken and 2 tortillas,Collen said it was tamales, anyhow I thought to myself this is great! we get to eat real Guatemalan food! others in the group were like NO Kainoa dont eat that! you don't have to eat it.u wont disrespect them by not eating it....well u know what happen right as they were saying that I felt that if i was gonna get sick and die from it then well it was gonna happen,no I ate it and thought nothing.It will be fine the food is blessed.beside if God really did spare me all those years to die from eating some local food.well then at least its been good being back in His house for these short years.
kinda all over the place
what if we have counted the cost and the result looked good but really really hard.what if leaving everything behind to go way into the unknown for x amount of time not knowing if you would return or not.
What if u had been given a destination,a culture, a nation and its people on your heart.what if that that country was narrowed down to a specific city or small town? would u go then?
Well I've not been given the OK but its exactly like that.I thought i had counted everything until this last trip to Guatemala where he showed me a few more things.having gone threw em and its not fun but looking beyond the hard and seeing the outcome can be good,there was no doubt that its worth it.
Now other things pop up from time to time it make me wonder.
I sit sometimes and think about small things things that normal people probably dont think about like take this for example.I am a night owl right so I'll stay up all night and into the wee hours of the morning no problem.then sleep all day no probs..ok well what if I was night supposed to be in this time zone.what if the way im wired im supposed to be in like Africa where our night is there day....
Or this one is even more pressing to me.everything is moving more to technology and computers/smart phones.everything digital and i feel im in the wrong age.when i was growing up in Hawaii it was perfect because in Hawaii everything is slower.we live at a slower pace everything is not now now NOW.it relax we are getting there one step at a time...If you had a question for someone the instant answer wasnt the phrase "google it". we live in the infomation age but I swear people are getting dumber by the second.and its creating mad laziness.
Then there is working.what I'm i really working for.we build these buildings that are designed to last for decades but it seems every couple of years they get tore down or redone.we work for seemingly wealthy people who use there money carelessly building the next great building but with no real achievement at hand.I want to build something that actually has purpose that people will appreciate having.something that will help them and there communities ages down the road.im talking about building good homes for the poor and needy.building churches that they can go to worship the living God.dig water wells that allow the people to draw fresh clean water.build shelters where people will have a place to go when the weather turn from bad to worse.a place of protection to guard them from the storm. Orphanages for kids from baby to older child.a place where even if no one is coming for them they can have a place a home until that day does come. or that will help them be apart of a family,be able to either send them to school or bring school to them.a place where they will be loved and feel God's love all around.or even to help build/plant on farm lands and help the people cultivate there lands and bring food to their families.to also build a store house of which they can store up food for all to share.
The vision goes for all over the world but i believe for now it is set on one specific place for me to travel to.
this whole idea came to me while at work one day in the middle of summer last year.30ft in the air and working away.when it hit my spirit."Something's not right"the feeling began to grow rapidly until i was wrecked my mind raced about thoughts of what am i working for how is this building up the Kingdom of God.to what point will any of this matter.all these idea began to flow I felt with all the skills God has given me each year is the same.work for something that really doesn't make a difference.a few moments later i was so stirred i began to cry in my heart and a few tears fell as well but it was so overwhelming that i had to come down.i had to share this with my mentor. my thought was what can i do God? im just a poor low end construction worker. i'll never have the money to go to the place i wish to go our that my heart longs to go.
From that day on a few things started happening that were all by His design,and i found my self on my first mission trip to Guatemala with 14 other construction workers a lot of them where master of there profession.some didn't do that kind of what any more and some of us where jack of all trades master of none. but all were hand selected by God and drawn to this trip to do the work that layed in front of us.
2 weeks before that trip left.is when I new breaking/burden began for a country i clearly remember saying to myself i would never go there and it is in that country where I am going to this summer.although i do not know what exactly will happen there or how i can even help.there are a vast number of things i do not know but its cool i am at peace with it.it is not on me to know everything and He will be there as it happen.I'm totally comfortable in saying that I do not know but I know He does all my hope is in Him.
this feeling of somethings not right keeps coming back,getting reminded of the people in the country and just different things here and there that keep happing all point me to this place and how i should just go.
- you'll never know until you try!
- when your 100% sure,your already to late.
- God doesn't use you when your ready.He uses you when He is ready.
- Life is about chances and risk,sometimes you just have to take a chance and risk it all!
- keep moving forward never look back your future is ahead and doesn't live in your past.
just some things that encourage me from time to time.
Jesus said we are to 1st love God with all our heart soul and mind.and 2nd love our neighbor as ourselves.
with that been said How can i go on everyday passing up an opportunity to help a fellow man.also i agree with a person who said i would not want myself to go starving.
Jesus doesn't ask that we care for the poor and needy,He demands it.
When calling are self Christ followers caring for the orphans,widowed and desolate are not an option its a requirement. - Katie Davis
in this new year i had not tried to make some resolution say what i'm not going to do this year or give up doing or whatever but instead the only thing that came to mind was this year will be a year of simply saying "yes!" to everything He says,no matter how crazy it may seem or sound.my heart and soul will say yes.
I dont think its about having been to seminary or bible collage to have a paper that says you can now be a preacher or worship leader or missionary.I think its more about being available for when He calls you.just saying yes and studying His word in your bible and waiting for His call...Jesus used uneducated men.they were fisherman and tax collector,they did not have degrees in theology or where already priest and scholars.
So there was a time when i felt like what can i do i'm just a construction work....there is actually more then you would think you could do.just be available and say yes
What if u had been given a destination,a culture, a nation and its people on your heart.what if that that country was narrowed down to a specific city or small town? would u go then?
Well I've not been given the OK but its exactly like that.I thought i had counted everything until this last trip to Guatemala where he showed me a few more things.having gone threw em and its not fun but looking beyond the hard and seeing the outcome can be good,there was no doubt that its worth it.
Now other things pop up from time to time it make me wonder.
I sit sometimes and think about small things things that normal people probably dont think about like take this for example.I am a night owl right so I'll stay up all night and into the wee hours of the morning no problem.then sleep all day no probs..ok well what if I was night supposed to be in this time zone.what if the way im wired im supposed to be in like Africa where our night is there day....
Or this one is even more pressing to me.everything is moving more to technology and computers/smart phones.everything digital and i feel im in the wrong age.when i was growing up in Hawaii it was perfect because in Hawaii everything is slower.we live at a slower pace everything is not now now NOW.it relax we are getting there one step at a time...If you had a question for someone the instant answer wasnt the phrase "google it". we live in the infomation age but I swear people are getting dumber by the second.and its creating mad laziness.
Then there is working.what I'm i really working for.we build these buildings that are designed to last for decades but it seems every couple of years they get tore down or redone.we work for seemingly wealthy people who use there money carelessly building the next great building but with no real achievement at hand.I want to build something that actually has purpose that people will appreciate having.something that will help them and there communities ages down the road.im talking about building good homes for the poor and needy.building churches that they can go to worship the living God.dig water wells that allow the people to draw fresh clean water.build shelters where people will have a place to go when the weather turn from bad to worse.a place of protection to guard them from the storm. Orphanages for kids from baby to older child.a place where even if no one is coming for them they can have a place a home until that day does come. or that will help them be apart of a family,be able to either send them to school or bring school to them.a place where they will be loved and feel God's love all around.or even to help build/plant on farm lands and help the people cultivate there lands and bring food to their families.to also build a store house of which they can store up food for all to share.
The vision goes for all over the world but i believe for now it is set on one specific place for me to travel to.
this whole idea came to me while at work one day in the middle of summer last year.30ft in the air and working away.when it hit my spirit."Something's not right"the feeling began to grow rapidly until i was wrecked my mind raced about thoughts of what am i working for how is this building up the Kingdom of God.to what point will any of this matter.all these idea began to flow I felt with all the skills God has given me each year is the same.work for something that really doesn't make a difference.a few moments later i was so stirred i began to cry in my heart and a few tears fell as well but it was so overwhelming that i had to come down.i had to share this with my mentor. my thought was what can i do God? im just a poor low end construction worker. i'll never have the money to go to the place i wish to go our that my heart longs to go.
From that day on a few things started happening that were all by His design,and i found my self on my first mission trip to Guatemala with 14 other construction workers a lot of them where master of there profession.some didn't do that kind of what any more and some of us where jack of all trades master of none. but all were hand selected by God and drawn to this trip to do the work that layed in front of us.
2 weeks before that trip left.is when I new breaking/burden began for a country i clearly remember saying to myself i would never go there and it is in that country where I am going to this summer.although i do not know what exactly will happen there or how i can even help.there are a vast number of things i do not know but its cool i am at peace with it.it is not on me to know everything and He will be there as it happen.I'm totally comfortable in saying that I do not know but I know He does all my hope is in Him.
this feeling of somethings not right keeps coming back,getting reminded of the people in the country and just different things here and there that keep happing all point me to this place and how i should just go.
- you'll never know until you try!
- when your 100% sure,your already to late.
- God doesn't use you when your ready.He uses you when He is ready.
- Life is about chances and risk,sometimes you just have to take a chance and risk it all!
- keep moving forward never look back your future is ahead and doesn't live in your past.
just some things that encourage me from time to time.
Jesus said we are to 1st love God with all our heart soul and mind.and 2nd love our neighbor as ourselves.
with that been said How can i go on everyday passing up an opportunity to help a fellow man.also i agree with a person who said i would not want myself to go starving.
Jesus doesn't ask that we care for the poor and needy,He demands it.
When calling are self Christ followers caring for the orphans,widowed and desolate are not an option its a requirement. - Katie Davis
in this new year i had not tried to make some resolution say what i'm not going to do this year or give up doing or whatever but instead the only thing that came to mind was this year will be a year of simply saying "yes!" to everything He says,no matter how crazy it may seem or sound.my heart and soul will say yes.
I dont think its about having been to seminary or bible collage to have a paper that says you can now be a preacher or worship leader or missionary.I think its more about being available for when He calls you.just saying yes and studying His word in your bible and waiting for His call...Jesus used uneducated men.they were fisherman and tax collector,they did not have degrees in theology or where already priest and scholars.
So there was a time when i felt like what can i do i'm just a construction work....there is actually more then you would think you could do.just be available and say yes
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Guatemala trip
insert journal here....well I would of if my notes didnt get deleted.oh well we are going back in jus a few hours will all be headed to the airport...Why am i still awake..
dont ask. but i hope to bring details and stories of our trip back to Guatemala.
and for all those who are praying for us thank you.
dont ask. but i hope to bring details and stories of our trip back to Guatemala.
and for all those who are praying for us thank you.
the return trip
a couple of months ago we went to Guatemala.it was my first mission trip ever.never been outta the safty and protection of the this country and into another land.The lord had put together the perfect team to go and do what needed to be down.I was very fortunate to be included on this trip.we did what we do over here but over there it was an awesome time to be able to work construction for some missionary's and to help build there medical building.
I remember on our free day half of us went to go zip line while the other half took a boat ride across a lake to go check out the market,but detoured to a lodge and walked around.it was very nice and peaceful there.at one point we stopped to sit for a bit and get something to drink.as we chilled there i stepped out on the patio and gazed at the blue water and sight of the volcano...in the silence the Holy Spirit says " you'll be back".sure i though someday right.He say's no you'll be back soon.Yea right i said kinda went to shrug it off,because of the worldly mind says u wont get off of work again.so close to the end of the year.and other doubts.but then He chimes in again.you'll be back.Ok i said whenever ill be ready.
ah to be ready..how i feel so not ready.well maybe a little bit...but then a memory of a devotional i read last month that says If there is one thing that is consistent throughout scripture, it is this: God calls people when they are not ready. God will never call you into service when you think you are ready.
I remember on our free day half of us went to go zip line while the other half took a boat ride across a lake to go check out the market,but detoured to a lodge and walked around.it was very nice and peaceful there.at one point we stopped to sit for a bit and get something to drink.as we chilled there i stepped out on the patio and gazed at the blue water and sight of the volcano...in the silence the Holy Spirit says " you'll be back".sure i though someday right.He say's no you'll be back soon.Yea right i said kinda went to shrug it off,because of the worldly mind says u wont get off of work again.so close to the end of the year.and other doubts.but then He chimes in again.you'll be back.Ok i said whenever ill be ready.
ah to be ready..how i feel so not ready.well maybe a little bit...but then a memory of a devotional i read last month that says If there is one thing that is consistent throughout scripture, it is this: God calls people when they are not ready. God will never call you into service when you think you are ready.
well with that being said what are we waiting for.not ready.packed and repacked then repacked again hoping no tools are forgetting at my house..cant sleep not tired,leave for the airport in 5 hours.wake up in 4.excited but nervous.only nervous because i dont like to mess ups on jobs specially when there probably no make ups.or redo's.But I do love to work,work hard and help people who need help.
So one thing different about this trip then the last is the prayer and my dad told me before he prayed.I had heard the story about my grandfather and him praying for my dad before.but my dad wasn't talking to me at the time..this time he was and he shared a bit more then what i heard. So he thought to speak the same prayer and blessing over my life aswell as dedicating me to the LORD.it was a heart felt moment.I know that all blessing and good thing come from the LORD. and with Jesus inside of us we can show the love of Christ everywhere we go and anywhere He sends us...there is much ease in my mind know that He is sending me and not that its a me i wanna go with or without the ok from God. cause there was a time when all i wanted to do was go.but He knew it wasnt the right time... i will go whee ever He send me Ive already made up my mind.so where ever is next is cool with me.Uganda,China,up north way down south and from east to west.
I will go send me send me!
1st lets get threw this adventure. hopefully i'll get a chance to write about our trip while on the trip.if not i'll take plenty of notes and be sure to drop post when i get back!
If you pray please pray for the team,the work we hope to complete while there and for what God will do in us and through us.pray that Jesus invades the lives of many,the people get saved,healed and set free. alos pray that our luggage doesn't get lost.it might be tough to do work with no tools.lol.thank you if u pray.
be back soon
Aloha
Perseverance
I write from a tried old broken heart,
perseverance -
1.steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
2.
this
word enters my mind about 2 hours into work at break time.as i stand in
the warehouse waiting for the other 2 guys i work with to come back
from doing whatever.its good to catch a break.even if its jus for a few
minutes....I look at my email for a sec and come upon my devotional for
the day.it says Perseverance for Success....ah really?
"And
we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also
rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces
perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Rom. 5:2-4).
so i begin to read but then breaks
over well that was fast and what i must persevere through continues.yes
it may seem like harmless joking around to them but for me on the
receiving end its not that fun.
constantly
being told your an ugly person,how much u suck,and how much u don't fit
in,been given crude nicknames,and made fun of for everything u do or
don't say,the way you look from your hair down to your feet,the way u
work.why u would go on a mission trip or even the thought of helping
someone in need....all day every day for the past week, gets old fast.
So
either you can play along and beat them down with the same fierce words
that would slice a heart down or you can choose not to play this game
again just stand there and take it...I choose to take it every time.by
doing this it causes them to pick on and harasses me more while finding
stuff to throw at me.... And they wonder why i dont talk much at
work...when they dont slander me there always talking about how big
there body parts are and where and who they stick them in,how many girls
they had in their beds,the most sick and perverted thing
possible...this gets old to.
though
I know we not just the Believers but everyone goes threw times or
something they have to persevere through or join the team and do what
the world does.
I'd
like to say this is my first time ever going threw something like
this...but its not..this is something i've been facing my entire life on
this broken planet.
My
first day on this planet i was born with a cleft lip and palate.when i
was 2yrs old i had developed a sist in my lower lip and had been in and
out of hospitals until i was 7 or 8.they'd take it out but it would grow
back,finally they got it all out.
my
parents hid my baby pictures not because of the way i looked but
because they didnt wont anyone to think they had been abusing me or
something.Now i know we all get picked on in school.thats just the way
it is.but from 1st grade to 6th,then through middle school 7th and
8th.on into high school 9th and most of tenth every day all day long.
1st
grade to 6th was really hard.i knew one thing when i was off to school
and that was to be the butt end of every cruel joke from the majority of
the kids in my class.to be made fun of the way i looked,how i
talked,what i wore to school.how i played sports or played on the play
ground.to be avoided when possible unless u wanna look t\like me and my
personal favorite how big my lower lip was..a friend of mine and i were
playing in a really high tree after school one day.and some older kids
had come threw and they were making fun of me then one of them threw a
rock...yes a rock so the others joined in and at the age of 10 or 11 i
was stoned......
we both got stoned and it hurt as the
rocks kept flying up at us we had are heads tucked down against a big
tree branch we were sitting on to protect are faces.but somehow a rock
managed to find its way and hit me between they eyes but a little
higher then where golith got hit and the blood began to flow,as more
rocks came up hitting us everywhere some how one of the kids down on the
ground saw that i was bleeding and shouted for the rest to stop.they
all ran away and my friend and i was left there...
Summer
time was the best times.no school so for three months i didnt get
picked on as much..yea i still got picked on by some and also the kids
at the babysiters i went to.that sucked.when school got back in though
it was same routine pick on big lip Samuel man.
I
grew up in church but every once in a while there was one kid who made
fun of me there to.but as the years went by the torment got worse.threw
7th and 8th new school.same kids pluse a ton of new ones.so new jokes
new laugh at me same heart break. I remember it came to a point where i
even thought God was making fun of me.I mean i started to think the He
made a mistake when it came to me.that He the God of the universe had
messed up when it came to me.i was just a rejected screw up that He
couldn't fix..more worse i was being told these things to.that my life
was a mistake and that nobody could ever love someone like me.I bought
into the lie and things got worse.by 9th grade i was getting the same
old kids from our last school now on to a bigger school with 3x as many
kids more and more from school,where i worked,the kids at church not jus
a few but alot of them.I began to hate more and more.I began to Hate
God for what he created I hated myself and jus wanted to die.
half
way through tenth grade we moved from sunny California to Hawaii.new
high school.new place,new people a fresh new start!1st day of school i
cant tell you how many times i got called or refered to as the elephant
man!
torment
all over again.all threw high school.new pain old pain no God in my
life alcohol and drugs were the perfect escape.when i was drunk i didn't
care what was said.the torment lasted up to 12th grade.by then everyone
new that no matter what they said i didnt care.i'd jus go smoke a joint
and laugh at them. after highschool until the time i left Hawaii few
people tried to mess with me.during High school one of the "cool"
popular guys befriended me and so that made things simmer down.every
time i got knocked down by one 10 would knock him down.people learn real
quick.but being protected still was no cure for the brokeness i felt.no
matter how many friends i had(and i had lots)the pain was to far in.the
cracks had cuase more cracks kinda like when glass shatters when it all
spider veined out.walls upon walls got put up and the more walls the
colder and harder my heart got.
But
thanks be to God that He found me,and He rescued me.little old ugly and
broken me.He's been good me.I Know now He really does love me.maybe 2
months before this started happening.I hear Jesus He says He loves me
and He will always be with me He'll never forsake or abandon me.and when
i ask He says things are going to get hard but remember I love you
Samuel...
Hard.yes
it is hard.hard to listen to the things being said.hard to think why do
i even bother praying for these guys on my way to work.Hard to not give
back what they give me...its hard but then perseverance enters my
mind...and I think if the Savior of the world can be rejected and
hated,beaten and whipped,spilled His blood for us,for me,for you and for
my tormenters. because no matter what they did to Him,He still loved
us...then yes I'll take the hard and continue to walk with Him as I know
He is here with me.and I'll choose to love..
this
is a hard test.the first two times i failed this test.I'm destined to
pass this time.and the biggest help is not just praying and talking to
God.what helps the most is spending the time before work to read His
book.His words and hiding them in this broken old tired heart.....
- Perseverance is the key to every great accomplishment because nothing of lasting value has ever been achieved without it.
- When we
persevere through adversity, we win the approval of our Lord Jesus
Christ, who told the suffering church at Ephesus, "I know your deeds,
your hard work and your perseverance. . . . You have persevered and have
endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary" (Rev. 2:2-3).
- People give up or give out when they feel depleted - when they physically, emotionally and spiritually run out of gas.
When going through adversity, watch out for pessimists, blamers and
toxic personalities. Beware of people who try to talk you out of your
dreams and goals. Spend time with optimists and encouragers. Seek out
people of faith.
Persevere to the end.
i don't know what He has planned or
what could possibly be the end outcome.but as i walk I am very thankful
for the friends I have through church i attend that He has placed in my
life.
Thank You Jesus!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
His Provision
So in the month of November He has been teaching me that His provision is alway on time and He is faithful with taking care of His kids needs!
late October God began to teach me of giving,and giving more often.November rolls around and giving is a sinch,giving more,more often is do able.now comes in to play giving over the top....ok so this 1 time it was like what? I dont think i heard You correctly.how much?....um i know Your God but are You sure? Ok yea Im not gonna say I was all on board when it happened.in fact I struggled,but in the end i didnt wanna disobey so i did it..then towards the end of november God showed me His provision.
Both times totally unexpected.first time I was giving X amount of dollars towards a non profit my sister made for me to get some teeth..very long story but you can expect I will be writing on this in fact I've already started.
but this second time was more amazing then the first one.
Today after work I scrambled threw traffic watch the dude in front of me get a ticket,swurved threw the mess on the highways all to hopefully make it to the Gateway Global office before 5pm to pay what i could for this mission trip God has called me to go on.so right before i get to the office I stopped at the atm...oh snap where is my bank card? go to park and start to look for it all over my truck.I thought to myself I know i brought it,Then the emeny say No u left it at home,you lossed it and all these other things.I was like Homie Shut it and Shut up!
started checking every place twice then to my surprise i found it.it had fallen out of the place i put it and was hidden between the floor and the seat.oh thank God so its back to the atm,I knew how much was in there and figured well.its not enough but perhaps i'll just empty it and try to live off of $50 for the next week..I can do I thought.i'll only need gas.so emptied my acct..shortly after i make it to the office and just in time. when i saw Mari i handed what i had to her and said im still short...not really knowing who i get the rest from.started to think well maybe i can borrow it(i dont like to borrow money from anyone) Mari walked me back to her computer and was like how much is this.oh no no no she said shaking her head.I thought to myself oh maybe they took me off the trip.then she turns around and says this is to much.
No its not i said.yea it is she said.you only have $175 to go...Um what? how could this be I replied.then Mari says well somebody but they said not to tell you who it was has donated into your balance for this trip so you only have 175. to go.
What!
stunned and in awe.Thank You God!,then it really hit me Mari says see God really does what u on this trip.He called You and u responded to His call....WOW and in awe never Have i experienced God's provision like this..I mean I had been wondering if i was even supposed to be on this trip,then she said that.my heart became overwhelmed and He says your welcome....
The first amount of His provision was big way bigger then this one.and it felt good and yes im very thankful for it.but this smaller amount is a thousand times more greater then the big one....at one point I had came across a non-profit called RU4children.and all i wanted to do was help them to the point of If i had control of the money for my teeth I would have gave it all to those orphans....I still feel that way...even with the new amount of money set aside for teeth,this smaller amount is like,whoa,I guess cause this is what God broke my heart for.to go around the world and Using the skills He has given me to help build medical buildings,homes,orphanages,schools,playgrounds and what ever else + dig wells all for His children all over the world.to countries and people who really need them....Now i get to go back again...God is so good to me more then I deserve.in fact I dont deserve any of this.But I am extremely thankful!
late October God began to teach me of giving,and giving more often.November rolls around and giving is a sinch,giving more,more often is do able.now comes in to play giving over the top....ok so this 1 time it was like what? I dont think i heard You correctly.how much?....um i know Your God but are You sure? Ok yea Im not gonna say I was all on board when it happened.in fact I struggled,but in the end i didnt wanna disobey so i did it..then towards the end of november God showed me His provision.
Both times totally unexpected.first time I was giving X amount of dollars towards a non profit my sister made for me to get some teeth..very long story but you can expect I will be writing on this in fact I've already started.
but this second time was more amazing then the first one.
Today after work I scrambled threw traffic watch the dude in front of me get a ticket,swurved threw the mess on the highways all to hopefully make it to the Gateway Global office before 5pm to pay what i could for this mission trip God has called me to go on.so right before i get to the office I stopped at the atm...oh snap where is my bank card? go to park and start to look for it all over my truck.I thought to myself I know i brought it,Then the emeny say No u left it at home,you lossed it and all these other things.I was like Homie Shut it and Shut up!
started checking every place twice then to my surprise i found it.it had fallen out of the place i put it and was hidden between the floor and the seat.oh thank God so its back to the atm,I knew how much was in there and figured well.its not enough but perhaps i'll just empty it and try to live off of $50 for the next week..I can do I thought.i'll only need gas.so emptied my acct..shortly after i make it to the office and just in time. when i saw Mari i handed what i had to her and said im still short...not really knowing who i get the rest from.started to think well maybe i can borrow it(i dont like to borrow money from anyone) Mari walked me back to her computer and was like how much is this.oh no no no she said shaking her head.I thought to myself oh maybe they took me off the trip.then she turns around and says this is to much.
No its not i said.yea it is she said.you only have $175 to go...Um what? how could this be I replied.then Mari says well somebody but they said not to tell you who it was has donated into your balance for this trip so you only have 175. to go.
What!
stunned and in awe.Thank You God!,then it really hit me Mari says see God really does what u on this trip.He called You and u responded to His call....WOW and in awe never Have i experienced God's provision like this..I mean I had been wondering if i was even supposed to be on this trip,then she said that.my heart became overwhelmed and He says your welcome....
The first amount of His provision was big way bigger then this one.and it felt good and yes im very thankful for it.but this smaller amount is a thousand times more greater then the big one....at one point I had came across a non-profit called RU4children.and all i wanted to do was help them to the point of If i had control of the money for my teeth I would have gave it all to those orphans....I still feel that way...even with the new amount of money set aside for teeth,this smaller amount is like,whoa,I guess cause this is what God broke my heart for.to go around the world and Using the skills He has given me to help build medical buildings,homes,orphanages,schools,playgrounds and what ever else + dig wells all for His children all over the world.to countries and people who really need them....Now i get to go back again...God is so good to me more then I deserve.in fact I dont deserve any of this.But I am extremely thankful!
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