Friday, January 13, 2012

a little hard

Its the hard days that allow us to cling to Jesus more then every other day.....

I tell me self this over and over throughout this past year,every time this was said either a hard day just passed or it was just around the corner.at first it was a struggle to keep in mind to cling to Him,to smile and press on.as the hard days kept coming the more i tried to keep this in mind but many times i failed.
Then one morning while driving into work He says i love you!I'll never leave nor forsake you! I am there with you,He tells me all these wonderful and comforting things...moments later i say I know Lord I know You are here with me.at that time everything was going great then it dawned on me to ask why or if something was about to get hard.Yes i hear. its going to be hard but do not fear for I am with with...later that day i was in life group when my friend Ash and I got into this conversation of how God years before had told them that Things are going to be hard.harder then they could imagine but not to fear for He is with them...
after hearing His story i remembered what Jesus had talked with me about in the morning and thought wow Our God cares so much about us that He will or would let us know when something comes up.....

a month or 2 had passed and then the hard He spoke of began.it was painful and hurt.day in and day out non stop abuse.verbal all work day long while having things thrown at you and your friends pulling the judas move.everyone taking what was a blessing from Him twisting it into something wrong and so much more.It test my reactions,feelings,and faith in Him,faith in believing and share Jesus with them.cried almost ever night because in my mind it was happening for the 3rd time...yes I had been there before but this time was different there was no giving up or giving in.I cant say that it was a breeze and I floated on threw.no it was difficult and it sucked!

All for good reason though I'm sure...

Today was the first hard day of the year.It was different this time though.crazy things happened right before i left for work.then not to mention was 30mins late.it was freezing and the boss is like sorry Kai but u gotta be outside today.go clean up the lot again. so I go to start the bobcat but it doesn't start.try for 20mins then finally it starts so leave it to sit while it warms up.10mins later i walk pass it and notice its spewing oil.out the back and on to the new concrete...lol Wonderful my boss is gonna kill me,so i move it to somewhere it can leak and go look for stuff to clean it up.instead of hiding it and be like i don't know how that oil got there..yea I told him so we got another cat out there.this happens to be are lucky day this one is not leaking oil but squirting hydrollic fluid every where....Sigh....really.other things went wrong but still all i could do is pray for other people and people around the world and in Uganda.lunch time rolled around I decided to call my sister and oh yea wish her a happy birthday i totally forgot it was yesterday...we talked for a bit,then I said you know I'm having kind of a bad day,but no matter what happens next I cant help but to Praise God.

with the first hard day under my belt I only hope to have the same if not better attitude for when an even harder day comes along...We shouldn't only be able to praise Him for the good days when everything falls in to place and is running smoothly.but we should be able to say you know I'm having a bad day or things aren't working out right but I choose to praise Him anyhow.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Dec.10 2011

Eating in Guatemala it's a risk I took , if I die from it then I guess my mission here on this earth is. Complete. But if I just get sick then well it's ok. But I believe Jesus would protect me.besides He is the One who got me on this trip.
Thank You Lord for everything!!!

Well from that day we did are home visits I guess I had decided that if I was to get sick from it then that's a chance imma have to take. Ive already gotten sick from the extensive smells of pine needles in small places. Really if the bacteria from a little kids hand shake or hug and I forgot to use hand sanitizer and get sick,well it was worth it because they felt loved. Today was awesome. God is showing more then just serving Him by working manually, but to reach out o th kids and bring a smile or laughter to them. The food came from a party when got invited to while in the area.our leader Colleen works with the people in the area and the local pastor.well his son and the sons friend just so happen to graduate that day and so the Pastor threw a party for his son and the whole village was invited.so after the home visit we went to church(that's where the party was) and we had church,its always a great experience for me to be able to worshiping God in a different county and language.even if you dont know the language or speak it.to me it paints a beautiful picture of what heaven will be like.

So after church we tried to leave asap when we got to the front door they redirected us around the side and up into an upper room where the graduates Grandparents were there who also are pastors then some other close family came up and of course the boys father and mother.we all sat and they served us something wrapped in banana leaves to be honest being from Hawaii the outside looked like a Lau Lau.but the inside was like mush with 2 chunks of chicken and 2 tortillas,Collen said it was tamales, anyhow I thought to myself this is great! we get to eat real Guatemalan food! others in the group were like NO Kainoa dont eat that! you don't have to eat it.u wont disrespect them by not eating it....well u know what happen right as they were saying that I felt that if i was gonna get sick and die from it then well it was gonna happen,no I ate it and thought nothing.It will be fine the food is blessed.beside if God really did spare me all those years to die from eating some local food.well then at least its been good being back in His house for these short years.

kinda all over the place

what if we have counted the cost and the result looked good but really really hard.what if leaving everything behind to go way into the unknown for x amount of time not knowing if you would return or not.
What if u had been given a destination,a culture, a nation and its people on your heart.what if that that country was narrowed down to a specific city or small town? would u go then?

Well I've not been given the OK but its exactly like that.I thought i had counted everything until this last trip to Guatemala where he showed me a few more things.having gone threw em and its not fun but looking beyond the hard and seeing the outcome can be good,there was no doubt that its worth it.
Now other things pop up from time to time it make me wonder.
I sit sometimes and think about small things things that normal people probably dont think about like take this for example.I am a night owl right so I'll stay up all night and into the wee hours of the morning no problem.then sleep all day no probs..ok well what if I was night supposed to be in this time zone.what if the way im wired im  supposed to be in like Africa where our night is there day....

Or this one is even more pressing to me.everything is moving more to technology and computers/smart phones.everything digital and i feel im in the wrong age.when i was growing up in Hawaii it was perfect because in Hawaii everything is slower.we live at a slower pace everything is not now now NOW.it relax we are getting there one step at a time...If you had a question for someone the instant answer wasnt the phrase "google it". we live in the infomation age but I swear people are getting dumber by the second.and its creating mad laziness.

Then there is working.what I'm i really working for.we build these buildings that are designed to last for decades but it seems every couple of years they get tore down or redone.we work for seemingly wealthy people who use there money carelessly building the next great building but with no real achievement at hand.I want to build something that actually has purpose that people will appreciate having.something that will help them and there communities ages down the road.im talking about building good homes for the poor and needy.building churches that they can go to worship the living God.dig water wells that allow the people to draw fresh clean water.build shelters where people will have a place to go when the weather turn from bad to worse.a place of protection to guard them from the storm. Orphanages for kids from baby to older child.a place where even if no one is coming for them they can have a place a home until that day does come. or that will help them be apart of a family,be able to either send them to school or bring school to them.a place where they will be loved and feel God's love all around.or even to help build/plant on farm lands and help the people cultivate there lands and bring food to their families.to also build a store house of which they can store up food for all to share.

The vision goes for all over the world but i believe for now it is set on one specific place for me to travel to.

this whole idea came to me while at work one day in the middle of summer last year.30ft in the air and working away.when it hit my spirit."Something's not right"the feeling began to grow rapidly until i was wrecked my mind raced about thoughts of what am i working for how is this building up the Kingdom of God.to what point will any of this matter.all these idea began to flow I felt with all the skills God has given me each year is the same.work for something that really doesn't make a difference.a few moments later i was so stirred i began to cry in my heart and a few tears fell as well but it was so overwhelming that i had to come down.i had to share this with my mentor. my thought was what can i do God? im just a poor low end construction worker. i'll never have the money to go to the place i wish to go our that my heart longs to go.

From that day on a few things started happening that were all by His design,and i found my self on my first mission trip to Guatemala with 14 other construction workers a lot of them where master of there profession.some didn't do that kind of what any more and some of us where jack of all trades master of none. but all were hand selected by God and drawn to this trip to do the work that layed in front of us.

2 weeks before that trip left.is when I new breaking/burden began for a country i clearly remember saying to myself i would never go there and it is in that country where I am going to this summer.although i do not know what exactly will happen there or how i can even help.there are a vast number of things i do not know but its cool i am at peace with it.it is not on me to know everything and He will be there as it happen.I'm totally comfortable in saying that I do not know but I know He does all my hope is in Him.
this feeling of somethings not right keeps coming back,getting reminded of the people in the country and just different things here and there that keep happing all point me to this place and how i should just go.

- you'll never know until you try!
- when your 100% sure,your already to late.
- God doesn't use you when your ready.He uses you when He is ready.
- Life is about chances and risk,sometimes you just have to take a chance and  risk it all!
- keep moving forward never look back your future is ahead and doesn't live in your past.
 just some things that encourage me from time to time.

Jesus said we are to 1st love God with all our heart soul and mind.and 2nd love our neighbor as ourselves.
with that been said How can i go on everyday passing up an opportunity to help a fellow man.also i agree with a person who said i would not want myself to go starving.

 Jesus doesn't ask that we care for the poor and needy,He demands it.
When calling are self Christ followers caring for the orphans,widowed and desolate are not an option its a requirement. - Katie Davis

in this new year i had not tried to make some resolution say what i'm not going to do this year or give up doing or whatever but instead the only thing that came to mind was this year will be a year of  simply saying "yes!" to everything He says,no matter how crazy it may seem or sound.my heart and soul will say yes.

I dont think its about having been to seminary or bible collage to have a paper that says you can now be a preacher or worship leader or missionary.I think its more about being available for when He calls you.just saying yes and studying His word in your bible and waiting for His call...Jesus used uneducated men.they were fisherman and tax collector,they did not have degrees in theology or where already priest and scholars.
So there was a time when i felt like what can i do i'm just a construction work....there is actually more then you would think you could do.just be available and say yes