More like Jesus Less like Peter

 Last night we went to Jesus Culture at the Nokia theater. 2hours of worship then the pastor got up and spoke.
He started with Hannah and about how Hannah Had ask,and prayed to the LORD God for a baby. and that baby she gave birth to was Samuel I very Important Prophet the one who called David out. The name Samuel means heard God.
He was God's mouth piece and a messenger for Him.he called out things in people and helped move them in the right direction or into what God was calling them to be.

As he was talking about birthing something last night I remember a conference my sister took me to where her friend Bishop Tudor Bismark  was speaking at one point I remember a guy yelling out Israel is going threw the birth canal,now this place and that place this person and that person ,then he invited all who wanted to come to walk threw the birth canal. (your probably thinking What the Flip? Birth canal? yea I was tripping out to.I thought these people were nuts)(the whole thing is kind of a blur but i remember bits n pieces and can see it visually but i cant explain it well)
My sis and aunt was like we're going u don't have to if u don't want to but I did because I didn't wan them to think I was into God or whatever.
Before all that crazy birth canal talk. when Bishop spoke I remember he ask everybody to turn around 360 spin this represented turning from the old into the new.everyone did I thought it was stupid and didn't.
Later that night m sister said come I want u to meet someone. She took me to see Bishop. I don't remember all that he said to me but he turned me around in a 360 turn several of times. From the moment he saw me the Lord spoke something to him that he passed to me.
The next time I saw bishop he spoke prophetically to me again this time he said "your going to have to make a choice! You will know when this comes and what choice it will be"

The Lord has been stirring  my heart I think of the September moment and from weds night at MOR Youth and then again the next night at the Jesus Culture meeting. It's clear to me I know which direction I'm going."the choice is clear" to me.
I see it NO other way. No matter the cost I'm going to seek Jesus. Every opportunity to go mission tripping I'm in. Even if it cost me my Job. I just know He will provide for me. First thing of the year I said in my heart and with my lips I will say Yes to everything He says no matter how crazy it sounds or seems.
"it is better to be obedient in the eyes of my God then to be crazy in the eyes of the world.

Even if this leaves me homeless in a few months. To seek Jesus with my whole heart is worth it.

The bible says this place is not my home.
King David and James said are lives are but vapors here one minute gone the next. Jesus said we do not k ow the hour for which he will return.
The world tells me to work now,save now and when u retire then go on mission trips.
I say what if I die tomorrow and go to see the LORD God almighty what will he say? Will He says well done good and faithful servant?
Or will He says why did u not help more? Why is there still do much poor,hungry,homeless,broken hearted people in the world?

I know I can't save anyone but Jesus can.
I can't do anything by my own strength but with His power I can do anything and everything He commands.

The choice is Clear I know the direction I will head.

I'm going to throw my life away for His cause!

The time is now,my heart says yes I will go.

Maybe as humans we need to feel like we have control or are in it,of the things that affects us,we strive for it but the more I look I see that I'm not in Control of anything and this freaks me out at time.
To Trust the Lord with all your heart is challenging in some areas.Like I know and seen Him provided multiple times,but as these missions trip are coming up fast and my dues are not in.I begin to think OK how can I make this money,Thoughts come of well Maybe i can help God with the expense of these trips.maybe I can pay for em.but to realize that God doesn't need me to help Him only trust and Believe in Him. dismiss the doubt and worry,

Trust! Trust! Trust!

Believe! Believe! Believe!

So then it hits me at the end of the day,that shows me how much like Peter I am...So willing to step out of the boat and go to Jesus.

28 And Peter answered Him and said, Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.
29 So He said, Come. And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus.
30 But when he saw that the wind  was  boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, Lord, save me!
31And immediately Jesus stretched out  His  hand and caught him, and said to him, O you of little faith, why did you doubt? Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, Truly You are the Son of God. (Matthew 14:28-31, 33 NKJV)